a Gentle Loving Kick to the Face

Vince Alvendia

When you get the bottle and you see the kind of no-frills packaging with the little pepper infographic telling you how hot the sauce is going to be, no to mention being able to see the thick consitency through the glass (this sauce has legs!) you can assume you're in for some sting and sweat. It's like seeing a kick coming and that weird face you make when you're about to flinch and try to roll with the hit.

When the sauce hits your taste buds, however, that kick slows down, and instead you get a kind of soft, yet firm shove with the foot, maybe with a little flick of the toe at the end. Mule Sauce comes in sweet and sultry, with a butterscotch tease, and then finishes with a little start of a flame. But beware, as you have more Mule Sauce, the flame builds into a roaring but welcoming fire that beckons you like a moth to a flame, running into your lovers comforting arms, and the next thing you know you're dripping sweat and two thirds of the damn bottle is gone.

Do yourself a favor and grab a bottle of Mule Sauce and let it kink-slap you in the face with it's sexy goodness.